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February 09, 2005



You're not a spaz and I'm extremely proud of you for revealing something so important to you so publicly.
I love you very, very much. :)


Tony, it took a lot of courage to talk about this in a public forum. YOU ARE DEFINETLY NOT A SPAZ, JUST HUMAN. I recently experienced such an episode at a Quarterly Review at P&G. I'll give you a call and tell you what happened during and after the meeting................Love, Dad


Methinks this is related to early February also. It gets the body all screwed around like a wind up toy getting ready for spring. If you didn't have Steph there, I'd be concerned about you, but she's the best doctor a friend can be. And of course then there's the fact that there's nobody she loves more than you, so you'll be fine. Which you already are.
Good for you on the exercise. Too bad it's not a prettier season to climb Yosemite. You might try Lake Chabot. Or you could take a vacation and live in Wisconsin for awhile. When is your spring break? You could visit Annie!


Ugh, anxiety attacks. I used to get them multiple times a week for about 7 years (until I finally wised up and went on a low dosage of Paxil).

My answer for anything is always "screw work and go riding!". ;) Anyone want to go to Alice's for lunch today or tomorrow? ;)


Thanks for the supportive comments. It really means a lot to me. Thankfully I'm feeling much better. The following day I felt a bit wobbly and unsure, but now I think I feel a bit stronger than I did before this happened. It such a relief the know there's an actual treatable problem here.

So yeah, Alice's tomorrow, wooo!


Amazing how one finds how much love and support there is when one really needs it.

Reading about what happened to you, I am reminded of a road trip you and I and Wilson took to Chicago a long time ago.

On the way home, as you might recall, I had a few moments of particularly strong expression :) over our route heading out of Indianapolis. Remember that?

Well, you were the very picture of calm through the whole thing.

Take it from a rather explosive personality, it helps a great deal to let it out. Hard as that can be on everyone else.

Also: that your conscience causes you stress is something I would call a quality, not a weak spot. Too many people are simply numb.


Speaking as one of the medicated -- and I *know* that's a last-resort option -- you might want to check out Buspar (aka buspirone). I spent a lot of time last year freaking out for absolutely *no* *reason* & it's helped a lot.

Of course, when I say "check out," I'm fully aware that you'll come across lists that say,

May Cause:
drowsiness or insomnia
constipation or diarrhea
low blood pressure or high blood pressure

as they will with just about *any* medication, fer cryin' out loud. All I can say is that it's helped me.

With the exception of "Multiple dosing" (I take 5mg at bedtime) and that it does make me drowsy, this pretty much covers it:

"Strictly an antianxiety medication, but with a different chemical structure than benzodiasepines. Research indicates that it may be just as effective as benzo's, but with fewer side effects, and is not known to be addictive. The benefits of the drug include no sedation, no memory loss, does not impair coordination, no withdrawl syndrome, no alcohol interaction, and few subjective side effects. The down side is that it takes two to three weeks to produce antianxiety effects, has no muscle relaxant properties, and requires multiple daily dosing."



You know I love you, but your a SPAZ !! Just kidding.

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